Summer shenanigans and curious wonder
*Ama and Bristol Banks snuggle moment*
Well, here we are nearing the end of summer. (I know summer isn’t officially over til mid September:)…but the end of August feels like the curtain is closing on all the lazy days and sunshine-y goodness. And as I approach fall, I thought it might be fun to look back at a few things that summer held as well as spend a little time thinking about the deeper things, rather than just all those amazing times of floating the river, laying by the pool and entertaining guests.
Sound good?
[In case you want to go through this exercise with your family or a friend group, here are a few questions that I’m going to share my experience with you that you could also use as a framework for your conversations with your people as well!]
What was something you were surprised by this summer?
What brought you the most joy?
When did you feel like you were experiencing true rest?
Who did you really connect with this summer and can you say what made it feel like connection?
Did you do anything that felt like a challenge?
I’ll go first, and I won’t answer all of them, I’ll just do a couple and you can get some idea of what my summer looked like—- not only on the outside, but inside my head and heart as well.
I would say that the thing I was most surprised by this summer was my ability to shift expectations when my family came for a visit.
Now, if you aren’t someone who is familiar with my fam, Mike and I have 4 adult kids (plus their amazing significant others:) and 6 grandkiddos +2 bonus girls:). So that makes for a whole herd of people——all with varying ideas of what vacation might look like. The goal, in my mind for our time together was connection, but with 3 babes under a year old, that can get tricky and our dreams of what that might look like can change real quick. Know what I mean?? You’ve got to factor in nap times, teething, lack of sleep, and feeding schedules, just to name a few curveballs.
Let’s start with just a few pics of our time together!
*Morning chill time with Everly, Ashley and David *
*Adult kids solo river float. We had babes at home with us:) Aren’t they the cutest?!!*
*Babes on a slack line:)…with uncle David*
*Boppa flying Davey June*
So in terms of while they were here, I feel like we had windows of heart to heart connection amidst hanging by the pool, yummy food and walks to The Village. But my big surprise was my ability to not let old conversations linger.
Do you know what I mean?
If you’re a mom of grown up kids, you may understand this. I have an uncanny ability to believe that I have to be perfect. (Crazy, I know)… Somehow, because I had such a deep longing for family to look different than what I had, I clothed myself pretty early on in parenting with a rule that I was going to do things “right” or better yet, perfect.
As you can imagine, this does not end well. Haha. Honestly, not only is it unrealistic, but it’s mean. No one is perfect, so even at the onset, failure is imminent. (Also, there’s a big difference between doing things “right” and doing things “well”.) Anyway…fast forward 30+ years into it and I can attest to the fact that, not only am I not perfect, but actually being a human who makes mistakes, creates space for everyone else to not be perfect too.
It makes room for an invasion of grace.
And, although it’s taken me years to practice paying attention to my thoughts after having been together, I am getting so much better at staying curious when I find myself ruminating about how well I did. Now, as conversations come back to mind and I notice something I could have done better, I can either take it to Jesus or revisit it with whoever’s involved. I have choices, rather than being stuck in what was.
Funny thing tho, even the process isn’t perfect. But I am grateful that I’ve found some new ways of being that leave room for my humanity as well as opportunities to receive grace and move on.
Ok, as I consider the question regarding the biggest challenge of this summer it only took me about a nanosecond to know exactly what I wanted to share with you!
In my June blog, I shared a picture of Mike and I and our dear friends Laurine and Monte at Smith Rock. Before they came, we had been talking about how long it had been since we’d been there, and wondered if they would want to do that with us while they were here. They said, yes, that they loved hiking and they hadn’t been to Smith Rock, so we were good to go!
Now, I have to give you a little backstory to help you understand why this experience felt so challenging for me. And by challenge, I don’t mean the climb in elevation or the terrain of the pathway.
This challenge was in my head. (Isn’t that where it often is?!:)
About 13 years prior to this, we had gone to Smith Rock when we were vacationing with a group of our dear friends. All of our kids were young and we felt like it would be so fun to take them to this beautiful hike. Not only to enjoy the beauty, but to wear them out a little bit:)
*This was our vacation club for years—-Treasured peeps for sure!! (David and Andrew weren’t here for this one and neither were Janet and Steve’s oldest boys.) When we went anywhere, it was like a small village had just arrived.*
WOW have we all changed since then. Not only have the kiddos all grown up, the adults here have taken on new shape as well:)
Anyway, when we arrived to Smith Rock all those years ago, I knew right away I was NOT going up to the top of that rock! I didn’t care what it took for me to stay at the bottom, but I was in no way going to be walking up there where there were paths, but no railings. My fear of heights kept me grounded…BIG TIME! Fortunately for me, Paige and Brenna saved me cuz they didn’t want to go up either. So the three of us stayed at the bottom, taking silly pics and hanging out while everyone else made the 3200 ft climb to the top.
But this year it was different — I wanted to go up…..I was just scared. And I’ve learned that I can do hard things, even if it means I have to do it scared.
So, we started the climb and as it got scary for me, I found myself talking to Jesus. I started by reciting the 23rd Psalm, which reminded me that He was with me. One step at a time, I declared this truth over myself, as I recited one verse at a time.
The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along right paths for his namesake.
Even tho I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me;
Your rod and your staff,
They comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
And you know what?
I was still scared.
But I wasn’t scared alone.
And this is where the victory is found….this is what freedom looks like!
It’s not about doing things perfectly or never experiencing fear. Its about staying in tact and inviting Jesus and others into these very real spaces in our hearts and minds.
And when we do….we flourish. We experience life to the full, just like the apostle John said we would in John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Full life——-the free life, means recognizing our human condition. Understanding that we have feelings and failures and Jesus made a way through them.
Glory!
So… I don’t know what this summer has looked like for you, but those were just a couple of things that really stood out for me this year. Maybe those questions are hard for you to sit with. Or, maybe you had a great summer and can quickly answer each of those with ease. Either way, my prayer is that you will slow down long enough to notice what’s happening in you, not just at the end of summer, but throughout the year——day by day. And take a moment to notice yourself — watch for where Jesus has been inviting you, or where you could invite Him or others into what it is you’re experiencing. And maybe for some of you, today is about saying yes to Him in a new way and realizing He never meant for you to go through life alone.
Either way, it’s so great to know that He’s right there waiting and longing for our presence. All it takes is saying yes to one tiny word……
”Come”.
The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” Let anyone who hears this say, “Come.” Let anyone who is thirsty come. Let anyone who desires drink freely from the water of life.
Revelation 22:17 NLT
Peace!