freed from a different Pharoah
I wrote this on February 6th of this year, just 4 days after my heart began singing a new song. A freedom song. And this is still the melody that plays in my heart 144 days later. It’s a life song, no longer a dirge of hopelessness. His praise will ever be on my lips!**This picture captures how my heart feels on the inside now!Slavery, as defined by Webster is submission to a dominating influence. Some forms of slavery are very clear and then there are other times when you live in slavery you don’t even know you are a slave. You walk around like you’re free while the shackles on your ankles leave marks the path behind you. Whether it be American slavery that President Lincoln abolished or Egyptian slavery that God used Moses to declare its end, each had a culture of its own. Characteristics that distinguished its inhabitants from those who live in freedom. American slaves didn’t dream in brick quotas, but they shared the same waking thoughts. I exist for the life of another. Their thoughts, insights, and dreams had to take a back seat to the desires of their master. For the Egyptians that master was Pharaoh. For the Americans, it was the white man. For me it was my father.Some slaves were able to keep their identity hidden away, in a secret place. Not all together destroyed but kept somewhere safe, waiting to be fanned into flame with the tiny flicker of hope for more. Their dreams of waking up to a life apart from a tyrannical master didn’t lose their power, they just sat in waiting like like a mother bird on her eggs that held the mystery of life inside. Life that she had participated in creating. Life that would resemble hers. Living beings that would learn to fly! These hidden places that spoke of a different way, dreamed of a life that would include service and sacrifice but not for one who required it and held them captive to it. One that was free to serve and sacrifice for the sake of love.For others, there was a different story being told. The narrative in their head was being shaped by their master. His voice told a story more like a horror film. Their heads were filled with fear that kept them alert to what might come around the corner or jump out when you weren’t paying attention. That’s what fear does. It keeps you in a perpetual state of vigilance. Bound by “what-if’s”. It fooled them into thinking it was protecting them.This kind of fear pretends to be your friend, while holding you captive.I know this fear space well. It’s the space that my mind created in order to survive emotionally. And that’s exactly what happened, survival. But you know what, survival is not life. Survival doesn’t include rest, or open spaces for love or creativity. It lives in a cell. A prison. Trapped on the inside, with the appearance of life on the outside. I grew up in America in the 1970’s and 80’s. The years where we owned one television, with only 6 or 7 channels (that we had to get up off the couch to change:), played outside for fun and sat down at the table for dinner every night. From the outside my life didn’t look like the slavery but the insides of my heart and mind told a different story. They were all bound up by the fear that was necessary for my survival. The one who had mastery over me used fear as his tactic to get what he wanted or needed. This is not the fear that protects, but the kind that enslaves.You know, the interesting thing is that we often buy into believing that if only our circumstances changed, our life would be different.And on that very day the Lord brought the people of Israel out of the land of Egypt by their hosts.—Exodus 12:51“That, on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State, or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thence forward, and forever free;” —-excerpt from Emancipation ProclamationWe see this with Israel, in the story of Exodus as well as the slaves in early America. They had been emancipated, delivered from slavery, but didn’t know how to live like free men. In each case, they wandered aimlessly. Looking back longingly towards Egypt and going back to the white men who had left lifelong scars on their backs. And you know what, that’s exactly what I did too. I had been rescued. Liberated physically by my kind, gentle husband and then shortly thereafter, spiritually, by Jesus, the Lover of my soul. Yet the narrative in my head still told me I was a slave, that I could never be free from the voice that shaped my mind into thinking I was worthless. And for many more years I believed it. I woke up everyday to the sound of the hopeless voice telling me that I was broken, just outside of the reach of full redemption. I knew I was saved and being sanctified, but fully free—not possible.But, this week everything changed for me! By the power of the Holy Spirit there was a markable shift in my soul.Territory that had been kept ransom by the enemy was taken back this week. I realized that I too needed a kind of emancipation. Deliverance from the lies that have kept me imprisoned for all these years. Although my identity in Christ has not changed, (I am just as much His as I was last week), my capacity for receiving it/owning it, has been enlarged. It’s as if the Holy Spirit in me, drew in His breath and blew out—expanding the lungs of my heart for more of the life of God in me.Today marked the 4th morning in a row that I have opened my eyes without the thought that it would be better if I didn’t exist. It feels so different and so good….freedom. I exist for the life of Another. The One who created me, redeemed me and loves me with an everlasting love.1 Corinthians 7:21-22 The MessageI’m simply trying to point out that under your new Master you're going to experience a marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you were free when Christ called you, you'll experience a delightful "enslavement to God" you would never have dreamed of.A “delightful enslavement to God”….yes please!! It’s the only slavery that brings life to every corner of our being, where there was once death.Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. Galatians 5:1 The MessageFor Christmas this year, I received a sweatshirt with the words “ALWAYS MORE” written across the front of it. This is what Jesus has been trying to say to me. “Kari, there is always more.” And, He’s right, THERE IS ALWAYS MORE! I’m not settling for, ‘this is enough’ anymore. I’m going to keep my eyes and my heart open for more…more truth than my heart knows today, more hope in my circumstances, more freedom in my relationships….more, more more!!No more harness of slavery, only wide open spaces for hope to live.
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