May—sunshine, birthdays and lessons in patience
Hello and Happy May!
May is a happy month for me—-not only is it the home of Mother’s Day, but it’s also my birthday month! And, it’s also the last month before summer gets here and of course that makes me super happy cuz I’m a summer girl!
We’re seeing more of the sun these days and it’s actually warming right up. Trees are budding with the hope of summer and pots are being filled with colorful flowers. Have I said that I love this season?!?!?!
But…I’m also in love with it especially this year, because that means we’re one month closer Mike being retired and down in Sunriver with me! It’s been quite a season learning to be alone and practicing patience.
Actually, I was thinking about it the other day and this is the first time in my entire life that I’ve lived alone. My entire life!!!! When I moved out of my parents house at 18, I had a roommate and then I got married at 20…..and that was almost 33 years ago!
Anyway, it’s been a new and strange season for me. I’ve been living on my own in Central Oregon for two months now and I gotta say, I don’t love it. I mean I love where I’m living, I just don’t love doing it alone. I’m very used to having a warm body next to me in bed each night as well as someone to share the day to day joys and concerns of life with. Instead, I go to bed alone, do a lot of talking to myself and I’m the one who is making sure the doors are locked at night. (This is not something I’m used to having to think about:)
Not only does it stink pretty bad and I wouldn’t recommend it to you, but all of this got me thinking about how terrible I actually am at patience. It’s funny because so often I find myself asking God to shape me and make me more like Jesus—-to help me learn how to love better and life out what it means to be his girl. And then I realize, wait, I don’t really love the ways that you are making that possible. I don’t love having to be in a season of waiting. I don’t love that waiting is the very place that I have to learn patience.
Funny thing, right?!
We aren’t apt to learn the things that we long for without some kind of cost. This season is hard and at the same time I’m learning some new things. Things that I couldn’t learn in the space of having my man with me, up close. You see, I know this may come as a surprise, but I take Mike for granted all the time.
There, I said it!
I’m used to being taken care of and I’m comfortable knowing that someone else is there for me to run something by, to make my life comfortable. I’m pretty sad to know that it took me not having Mike to realize all the ways that I miss him and don’t think twice about his being here with me.
Honestly, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this…most of us don’t do a great job of being grateful with what we have. We find it so much easier to think of all the things we don’t have that we wish we did, rather than pausing enough to sit in gratitude for what we’ve been given. And honestly, no matter where we find ourselves, there’s always something in our lives that we can stop and say thank you for.
So, even tho it’s been 6 months since Thanksgiving, I’m gonna share just a few things that I’m finding myself clinging to with gratitude in this season of longing and maybe it will inspire you to make your own list of positives to hang onto in whatever season you’re finding yourself.
Blue skies and sunshine (most days)
Learning new ways of being with myself that I can’t learn as easily when others are close
Simple living—-small house, less to clean/manage
My health
Sherry and Char living close by me
Chocolate/snacks —— I mean, of course I would say that:)
Lots of time to read, study, relax and create.
Three babies coming into the family over the next 6 months!
Happy/healthy relationships with my kids and grand-kiddos!
10. A new way of life, that feels scary and exciting all at the same time.
So how about you? Are there ways that Jesus is positioning you to receive something new from him? Maybe some things about yourself that need to be uncovered so that you can have a deeper look? Or maybe it’s simply a grace that He’s preparing you to receive that you’ve been waiting for. Either way, I’m grateful this month, even in the middle of all the unknowns, the fears and the goodness that surrounds me.
Peace.