insanity or humanity
The other day I was reading the story about the woman at the well in John chapter 4. I can really relate to that woman. We could call her the searching woman. On the hunt or the search for something more but looking for it in all the wrong places.Einstein defined insanity as, “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.In all actuality she is living as an insane person. Trying the same thing over and over but getting the same result. Emptiness. Going back to the dry well for her deep thirst. Don't we all act a little insane at times?Beth Moore says this about her, “She wasn’t rejected for wanting the wrong thing. Jesus used what she sought (water) to bring her what He knew deep down in her heart she thirsted for most.: A Savior who could stop the madness, forgive her sins, and give her dignity.”Isn’t it crazy that we often search for temporary relief to an ongoing problem? Its like taking Tylenol for cancer.It makes no sense and we’re smarter than that! I’ve come to realize that our inner child is often the one who cries out the loudest. It's just that her voice gets heard through our grown up bodies. Just like when we were babes and we wailed for milk, we do the same thing today. We cry like babies for things that won’t heal our deep wounds. Instead of being still, we throw temper tantrums. Rather than think rationally, we pitch a fit.There is an irrational child in most of us that wants to be heard.Jesus sees her. And the greatest part is that He’s not disgusted with her or disappointed in her. He sees her for who she really is: His beloved. That child of his that he died so that she could see him. So she would have a place to share all of her fears. All of the things that are unknown and scary for her. The things that seem to be out of her control. And when she sees herself for who she really is, she can take a deep breath and run to him, like a child would run to their daddy. Or walk sheepishly, whatever her little heart feels safest doing.And he waits.And he watches.Looking for his little girl to come home. To believe him enough to let him into her despair. So that He can gently show her that she belongs to a new Kingdom now. A kingdom that is already hers. Her safe Father is the King and he's made her royalty. Nothing left to long for, it’s all there for the taking.And she breathes.What were short pants, now become deep breaths. The sighs flow out of her, one right after the other. She realizes she’s in his lap now. Slowly she takes in holy air, her lungs expand and become deeper and wider, giving room for more. And she lets it all go because she realizes its safe here. She gives it all to him. With each breath that makes its way out, she becomes more and more alive.The tension of having to know it all dissipates. She looks down at herself, her tightly clenched fists are now unclasped and gently held by nail scarred hands.She feels safe. Heard. Known.
She’s been reminded that she doesn’t have to hold it together because she’s sitting with the One who holds all things together and He’s holding her.She rests and she trusts.For now she’s still. And even if she finds herself back in the space of protecting, clenching and full of fear, she knows now that she’s welcome here.She believes.She’s home.He loves me and that’s enough.